"Should I have sex on the first date?"

Unfortunately, there is no simple answer to this question. In some cases, and for some people, having sex on the first date is the natural and right thing to do. For others, however, it can be a devastating mistake. This article aims to provide a few pointers to help you decide what is right for you.

Things to Consider

• First of all, if you're under the legal age of consent, you should not consider having sex at all. Not only is it illegal, but the truth is that you're probably not mentally or physically ready for it, even if you think you are. The law is there to protect you, not spoil your fun, so wait until you're old enough. You'll enjoy it much more, we promise!
• If you have a strong religious belief, you've probably already decided to wait until you're married before having sex. That's fine. We fully support everyone's right to decide what is best for them, and you should not be tempted away from your chosen path. If the person you're with does not respect this, then they are not the right person for you. However, in the modern world, the fact is that many people do have sex before marriage, and we strongly believe that this is an equally valid choice. Think about what is right for you, but don't be persuaded against your will or made to feel guilty about your decision.
• How well do you know your date? I mean, really know them. Are you sure that this is the type of person you 're looking for? Do you have any concerns about their behaviour or personality? Have they been honest with you? And most of all, do you feel safe in their company? If you have any doubts, don't rush into having sex with them. Instead, go on a few more dates (or not!) and get to know them a little better.
• What is your attitude towards sex in general? Do you believe that it should be saved for a loving relationship or do you just enjoy sex for fun? And does the other person feel the same way? Don't selfishly use someone to get what you want - what goes around comes around. And don't ever agree to have sex with someone because you think it will make them like you more. It won't - it'll just make you feel worse.
• If a woman is looking for a serious long-term relationship, perhaps with a view to marriage, some experts will advise her to withhold sex in the early stages even if she wants it herself, in order to make the man work harder for her affections. We at The Love Site don't really like the idea of playing games in a relationship, believing that it's better to be honest with your partner, but we can see the merit in this tactic. Not all men are the same, but some might respect you more if you make them wait a little, simply because they'll have time to get to know you as a person, rather than just a body.

Things to Remember

• Most importantly, if you're considering having sex outside a committed, long-term relationship (i.e. marriage or something similar), ALWAYS use contraception. Aside from the potential transmission of disease, unprotected sex brings with it the very real risk of unwanted pregnancy. Don't jeopardise your future: never be tempted or encouraged to have sex without contraception.
• Guys - don't leave contraception up to the girl. And girls - don't rely on the guy to bring a condom. If you both make sure that you're prepared, at least one of you should remember on the night! Condoms are the best choice because they protect you from disease as well as pregnancy, but there's no harm in using a second method of contraception (such as the Pill) at the same time, for extra safety.
• Finally, think it through, be prepared, but don't worry about it too much. The worst thing you can do is spend your entire date wondering what you'll do if and when the issue of sex arises. Just relax and enjoy yourself. If and when the time comes, you'll instinctively know the best thing to do.